Well... my brother and his lovely wife had a baby last night. Laura was born at 8:36pm December 6th in Vancouver Canada. She is a beautiful 6lbs girl with deep brown eyes that drink in the world.

Today I got to see her. It was amazing. I don't know how to express all the emotions that rushed through me. The hope, the dreams, the fears and the whole kaleidoscope of emotions washed through me while I looked into her face. I was told I could pick her up but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I, like my brother, felt unworthy of such joy and beauty.

I started this journal wanting to talk about how I feel about this.... but I suddenly feel the need to horde my feelings. I don't understand why. Perhaps this is not where I want to be doing this. Yes, thats it.

Having said that, I wish you all could feel the flood of emotion I felt today. Not too long ago, we were all as innocent and beautiful as Laura is today. I hope you and I can rediscover the thread of our lives that spoke of the potential and promise of those early days.


a foolish foolish romantic and dreamer
Michael

Well.... if anybody's out there listening.... I'm off to film school!

Me film-maker, me have big stick, me make lights on wall.... ugh ugh!

Guess this means I actually NEEED a website finally. FLASH to the rescue!
I hope to have some new work to put up on DA soon. I have been a voyeur
for too long.

I am, I believe, more or less free of many of the dogmas, delusions, self-deceptions or preconceptions that seem to plague many of my species. This relative state of enlightenment, however, does not bring with it a secure feeling of freedom.

Rather, I feel oppressed by the fear of discovery.

The story of "The Emperor's New Clothes" comes to mind. I feel like the little boy of that story; watching the crowd ooh and aaw at the Emperor's non-existing clothes. But the modern day version of that story, would have the crowd turn on the boy and tear him apart for the innocent act of speaking the truth.

So I join the ranks of the silent. Hoping to find others; with whom a conspiracy of truth can spawn.

I see the things people do.

I scream "WHY!?"

"WHY would you DO such a thing?!"


I get no answer.

But echoes from the void.

Endless and dimminishing echoes

Why?.........................